The Beast, by The Plaqueys

The Beast

by The Plaqueys

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1.	Take Me Aliens 03:02	lyrics	buy track
Take me aliens, take me aliens... I'm tired of this planet and way of life, take me away to your paradise Just take me aliens, take me aliens... Y'took my friend Hank four years ago, Y'took my friend Hank n' that guy's an asshole He won't stop talkin' about your experiments, But you never took me it just don't make sense C'mon take me aliens, take me aliens... Y'took my friend Amy just nine months past Y'took my friend Amy n' she's a total psychopath She tells everyone about your Great Ship But I'm still here n' losin' my patience Yeah take me aliens, take me aliens please Take me aliens, take me aliens please... Yeah take me aliens, take me aliens please Take me aliens, take me aliens please... Y'took my friend Tom you took my friend Juan Y'took Tom n' Juan and they're both morons I don't want you to get the wrong idea They're still a few worthwhile humans here... Take me aliens, take me aliens I'm tired of this planet and way of life, take me away to your paradise n'just take me aliens, take me aliens... C'mon take me aliens please...
2.	Boycow 03:52	lyrics	buy track
I don't ride in a saddle, n' if you done me wrong I prolly tattled... Don't got hair on my chest, n' I don't carry a six shooter... N' if you ain't yet heard I'm one hell of a moo'er- talkin' Moo-ooh-ooh, Moo-ooh-ooh, Moo-ooh-ooooh... I don't eat steak, n' I don't wear leather... 'Cuz me n' my bovines, we're birds of a feather... Spend my days grazin' grass, n' chewin' on cud... N' if there's one thing I like, it's standin' barefoot in the mud- 'Cuz I'm just a boy who likes his cows, but I ain't no cowboy... No I ain't no cowboy... I drink my milk straight from the utter, N' if you ask me what I just said, it's prolly 'cuz I stuttered- 'Cuz I'm just a boy who loves his cows, but I ain't no cowboy... No I ain't no cowboy...
3.	Cross To Bear 02:55	lyrics	buy track
I thought I'd try that new noodle place Dan Dan Pork, knife-cut It was good, but the meat looked a little pink I ate every bite despite my concern... And on the drive home I paid the price- Oh Oh, I just pooped my pants Oh Oh, I just pooped my pants Poop in my underwear yes, Poop in my pants as well, This Poop is my cross to bear... The next day I was so ashamed I didn't leave my house all day Watched TV in bed completely nude- this is what I do Eatin' guacamole straight from the tub Too sad to get up and use the restroom- Oh Oh, I just pooped the bed Oh Oh, I just pooped the bed Poop on my freshly laundered sheets, Poop on my naked body, This Poop really ruined my night... The next week I went campin' with my family We were all laughin' by the fire As time went on I realized I had to go #2 In that moment I knew I had ONLY ONE OPTION! Walked into the dark, unbuckled my pants- OK, I just pooped in the woods OK, I just pooped in the woods This wasn't as bad as the other situations, I described a little bit ago But I still wasn't happy about it... No, not happy 'bout poopin' in the woods...
4.	Litany Of Issues 01:58	lyrics	buy track
Well it took me such a long time to know, but only a fraction as long to dislike you. I can't believe there was ever a moment you fooled me into seein' potential. There is a litany of issues I take with the simple act of your existence. If I had to murder an innocent person to access a time machine I'd gladly do that. Then I'd go back to the time that I met you and on our first date I'd tell you "I hate you... Trust me when I say I got really good instincts when it comes to readin' the character of strangers" And if I did that then now I'd be happy, but as it stands I'm too mentally broken to leave you... I'd rather watch my family slowly get eaten by snakes then voluntarily engage you in conversation...
5.	Wrong Side of the Bed 02:58	lyrics	buy track
Today I woke on the wrong side of the bed Birds squawkin' 'round my head So you better get outta my way Don't you dare try to turn my frown upside down Or I'll run you outta this town You better have nothin' to say Everybody tells me looks like I got on the wrong foot Outta bed this mornin' Wish they'd just keep their remarks to themselves Don't tell me any jokes or try to cheer me in any fashion Or I'll make it my business... to make your day Hell Don't wave your good foot in my face Hoppin' around like you own the place Don't tell me "What a beautiful day" today Don't ya have anything mean to say? A stranger came to me with some words of kind advice Said "You only live but once"... Guess he didn't see what happened to the last guy who wished me well I pushed him over and he started a shoutin' But instead of fightin' back... He joined my side in makin' everybody's day a living Hell Don't wave your good foot in my face Hoppin' around like you own the place Don't tell me "What a beautiful day" today Don't ya have anything mean to say?
6.	The Beast 01:46	lyrics	buy track
The Beast... The Beast... The Beast has gnarly feet The Beast only eats dry meat The Beast got great big hands The Beast has exposed sex glands The Beast has wobbly teeth The Beast made a entrails wreath The Beast got no real hobbies Except for making entrails wreaths Who will kill The Beast? Who will kill The Beast? The Beast... The Beast... The Beast has bulging eyes The Beast only tells big lies The Beast drinks garbage juice The Beast's dog is always loose The Beast has a ugly nose The Beast never received a rose The Beast lives in a cave Except for when he leaves the cave... Except for when he leaves the cave I will kill The Beast! I will kill The Beast!
7.	Reluctant Amends 01:16	lyrics	buy track
Genuinely apologize... Or just be a dick It's not too late to apologize But I still prefer to be a dick Continue to be a dick Instead of ever developing emotionally... I should clearly apologize... But I repeatedly choose to be a dick I could easily resolve this conflict If I even attempted to stop being a dick I'm a full grown man who never truly takes accountability...
8.	Party at My House 02:33	lyrics	buy track
Milk Man's comin' at a quarter to 9 Postal Service be here at a 11:45 The Gardener'll be here at 2:15 Maid's gonna be here at 4:53 There'll be a party at my house Party at my house, Party at my house- Yeah! There'll be a party at my house Party at my house, Party at my house- Yeah! Cat's been waitin' in bed all day Fish are swimmin' 'round in a Bacchanal way I gotta tidy up and find my Blue Suede Shoes Landlord's comin' 'cuz my rent's overdue! He'll join the party at my house Party at my house, Party at my house- Yeah! Join the party at my house Party at my house, Party at my house- Yeah! Party at my house, party at my house Party at my house- Yeah! Yeah join the party at my house, party at my house, Party at my house- Yeah! Join the party at my house, party at my house, Party at my house- Yeah! Join the party at my house, party at my house, Party at my house- Yeah! ... partay

about

.:The Be[a]st Album of All Time:.

credits

released February 7, 2023

Album Art Design: Troy Zweifler
Album Art Rendering: Caleb Zweifler

Special [cousin] Thanks for their features:
Austin Pruett & Brad Hassinger

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about

The Plaqueys Mc Gregor Bay, Ontario

Michigander Bruos (Caleb & Zach Zweifler) collide with their Californian Cousins (Troy & Heath Zweifler) annually to write & record a new E.P. in 2 weeks time. These transient virtuoso's draw influence anywhere from Captain Beefheart to the Wu-Tang Clan. Don't be surprised if their woeful power ballads coax you to pursue a more meaningful and romantically transcendent lifestyle. ... more